I had been living in New York for 5 months when I came home to my sublet in Crown Heights to find an unexpected eviction notice and an unfamiliar lock on the door. Four months later I was laid off after slightly under a year of employment. Five months after that my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me in an email. By December of 2013 I had already been on two online dates, and had another 4 planned, all with different people. It was the first month in a year in which I spent zero time weeping in a stairwell.
It is notable that my ex and I were friends for over a year at school until I decided to drunkenly caress his thigh while watching Midnight Cowboy in his dorm room (which was, incidentally, right across the hall from my dorm room). After outing my nefarious intentions, I vomited violently both in the communal bathroom and in my own trashcan. I had been mixing orange vodka with Sunkist Cherry Limeade and had earlier consumed a noxious combination of skittles and redbull so the vomit in question was visually stimulating to say the least. Somehow, he was still interested and we went on “date” to the campus dining hall later that week. I was 19 years old.
We lived together after leaving the dorms, first with roommates for one year,
We almost broke up once while living apart but then we didn’t. When I finally made it to New York things were somewhat less than romantic. They might have always been that way but now his family was there quietly expecting things which in turn caused him to expect things loudly. I had my own life to lead. There were jobs to lose, sketchy apartments to fail to avoid, friends to almost make, and train schedules to misread. He had an entire life waiting for him there and I did not. It was no one’s fault, but it was not an easy year.
In the past year I have been unexpectedly evicted, unceremoniously laid off, and dumped in an email from a long-term relationship. I have no reason to believe that this impressive losing streak is over, but I am pretty sure that everything is going to be OK anyway.