Friday, March 30, 2012

Beauty Tips For Ladies and Curious Men

If you haven't noticed, the title of this blog is "On Being A Lady". The title is just something I liked the sound of and really has nothing to do with the purpose of this blog, but I feel like I should at least try my hand at womanly advice every so often. I'll choose a topic whenever one occurs to me and give you the On Being A Lady take on it.

Making the Best of Those Dark Under Eye Circles- There are a lot of products out there that claim to get rid of  dark under eye circles. My advice here is don't buy any of those. Dark circles are a great way to say to the world "hey, I'm having a rough morning please either be nice to me or leave me alone".  If you don't want to send this message just cover them up. If you are like me and have been blessed with dark circles that never really go away no matter how much sleep you get, then you have kind of a get out of jail free card in your pocket at all times. On normal days just slap on  liquid foundation, conceal those puppies and finish with a light layer of mineral or dry foundation under the eyes. If you wake up and you don't want to deal with people's crap or you just want everyone to think that you're being a trooper for being so chipper despite being obviously exhausted, put on some extra pale foundation everywhere but under your eyes. Maybe even blend some grey eye shadow into your cavernous sockets for added effect. Blending green into the mix will make you appear not only tired, but potentially sick and maybe even infectious! It's a great way to temporarily lower everyone's expectations while appearing dedicated and maintaining your professional integrity.  (:

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wasn't I Just Here?

So I'm back to where I was when I first started this blog. I am unemployed. Only this time I didn't quit, I actually have money saved, and I'm actually making progress on getting set up in NYC. Well, specifically it's Brooklyn but I'm just fine with that. Seeing as I live in a place that is a solid three hours from  real civilization with very few convenient public transportation options the prospect of an hour long commute to the city isn't the end of the world. And I might end up working in Brooklyn anyway so what does it matter how long it takes me to get to Manhattan?

Anyway, my point is that yes, I am unemployed but I feel a whole lot better about it than I did when I was in the same situation 8 months ago. I am aware that finding a job in NYC might be tricky but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to end up living under a bridge no matter what happens. Even if I do, summer's coming on so I should be OK. As long as it's not a bridge in New Jersey.

I know that I keep saying I'll get back to my Real Book Project. I will. I just feel a little too stressed about other things to allot any time to it at the moment. When I write, even when it's meaningless schlock, I gain a sense of purpose because writing is something that I might end up doing in a job. The way I see it, I'm keeping in practice. Sure, I'm enforcing a lot of bad habits because of the casual forum, but I'm exercising my writerly self. Singing is a hobby. I like doing it, but I highly doubt that I'll have any job that requires me to know the head of "Angel Eyes". Unless I get into music journalism but I think we can all agree that I don't have the balance for that. Every article would be something like "This band is alright at their instruments but I'm pretty sure they haven't gotten over Nirvana. Isn't it time that we all acknowledge that their actual MUSIC wasn't very good? I mean I get the whole "thing" but seriously it's 2012. Come off it already. And do these guys (the subject of this article, not Nirvana) think their silly mustaches are attractive? Where are the girls who are into this icky aesthetic? Gross. So...decent musicianship...irrelevant genre...gross faces. Next." This would be my article for about 45% of the newer bands I've heard lately. Another 30% would be something like "I'm sorry. I didn't realize that singing on pitch wasn't a thing anymore." And then the rest would probably just turn into articles about Bonnie Raitt, Steely Dan, and dead jazz singers regardless of the assignment.   I don't think I'd be hired as a music journalist.

Exercise is my other priority at the moment. I don't have a problem with the way I look. I just figure the smaller I am the more likely I'll be able to find things on sale in my size. When I had salmonella and cryptosporidium parvum at the same time and dropped down to a size 24 waist I found so many pairs of cheap designer jeans. Then I got my ass back and sold them all to upscale thrift stores for almost as much as I paid for them. I don't think I'll ever get back down to my parasite weight but being a size 6 just isn't working out for me financially. Too many other size 6's. It's basic economics.

Here are some pictures I took on my phone in NYC last week:

 I Was on Bleeker Street. I took a turn towards the water. That's all I know about where this was taken.
 Somewhere..wasn't really looking at street signs.
 There were these theatery looking kids beside me taking very posed pictures and saying things like "Oh you bitch I am going to push you into the water with all the little fishies!" Probably NYU students. Obviously thought they were hilarious. Destined for lives of disappointment.

 In the Alexander McQueen Store Front

 A nice fence in Brooklyn
 Sunburned acquired on March 22nd, 2012.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Mid March Malarkey

First off all no Real Book Project again today. I'm a little sick my voice is all...incapable. I Can't hit an A above middle c in chest voice and everything I try to sing comes out sounding like scratchy Indie nonsense. I am not putting that malarkey on the Internet.

Anyway so I finished up my job in Reservations and now I have midweeks free until I figure out my next move. This week I am going to NYC to try to line up a summer sublet. I will be there Tues-Fri and then I work the weekend wafflin' so I probably won't have time to write. I am going to try to remember my camera and maybe take some pictures though.

In other news it has been around 70 degrees in Vermont for the past few days and I am really enjoying but it makes me really anxious because knowing Vermont this probably means that we are either going to get another 3 feet of snow in April or it's going to rain for 5 days straight and we're going to have another flood. Or something. I'm just saying that Vermont be a fickle hellcat and her heart is full of wrath.

In case it does stay warm, though, I need to get up to the mountain and get some runs in before the end of the season. That means end of post.

Thursday, March 15, 2012


I know I said I was going to do a song a week for the Real Book Project but I forgot so...sorry. I'll do two next week. How do I know that I'll have time? Because the 18th is my very last day working in Reservations. In theory I have another few weekends working at the Waffle Cabin but it's supposed to be in the 70s next week so we'll see how long the snow holds out on the mountain.

So this is it. My season of living at home and saving money is coming to an end and I have to go forth and resume my adult life. It seems like my best course of action is to find a summer sublet and work on getting a job and an apartment once I'm there. I've been applying to jobs pretty much on the daily through websites but I feel like I need to get down there and start making calls to really get it together. "Down there" is NYC by the way in case you've been paying no attention to what I've said about my plans in the past.

The good news is that I do have some money saved. The bad news is that it's not THAT much money and I still have student loans. This reminds me that I really need to re-apply for Income Based Repayment so my payments due don't skyrocket soon. I just felt a pang of stress that I know isn't going to go away until I do something productive so I will be back next week, hopefully with all sorts of interesting things to discuss.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Real Book Project: God Bless The Child

For those of you who don't know I studied Jazz Vocal Performance in college as a part of my music minor. There was this list of songs that all Vocal Performance majors had to know but since I was a minor I never had to learn all of them. I have decided to go through the list and just sit down at the piano and bang out a few of the ones that I somehow avoided. To motivate myself to actually do it I am going to post the videos and promise myself that I will learn one a week.

The main reason I am doing this is because since graduating I have had very few chances to perform and this gives me a good excuse to exercise my vocal chords.

Project Notes:

1- I can read a lead sheet but I am not a piano player and I am not fluent in voicing anything other than basic three note chords piano playing accompanying these songs will basically be a train wreck. I don't really have time to practice enough to resolve this issue so just try to ignore it if you listen.

2- I will only chose songs that are close to being in my key in Real Book. I also don't have time to transcribe things...even if I did It's kind of a chore and I don't want to deal with it. Some things will be too high. Others will be too low. Some will be juuuust right.

3- Most of these songs are songs to which I BASICALLY know the melody so any other jazz people out there will probably notice some...inaccuracies.

4- I don't know to turn on the light in the corner where our piano is right now.

5- For each song I will do two takes. I am not going to belabor this or else I will never get it done.Take 2 will get posted. Take 1 I will have on my youtube channel in case you're interested.

Here is The video. Took too long to upload directly

This week is God Bless The Child. Thing is a song that I aaaaalmost like, but I just don't. I can't really explain why. That's why I never bothered to sit down and do it before now. The RealBook key is perhaps a bit high for me. In my performance I ignore almost every instance of minor 6 chords and b57s not because I don't understand why they are important but because my hands just didn't want to go there. Oh well. There are a few ick notes.

 My poor, abused Real Book Cover

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I'm Not Dead!

I worked for 11 days straight and then I went to New York for 3 days and then I worked for another 6 days and until just now I haven't had much time to sit down and indulge all of my silly little thoughts (this is my definition of blogging). That all started on 2/16. Here are some things that have happened since then.

1) I turned 24. I received level 1 of Rosetta stone for Spanish. I asked for it because I am moving to New York and my work experience is all Food Service and Hospitality. I am going to need some Spanish.

2) I had a customer at the Waffle job that said to me "We paid you thousands of dollars to cater our sons Bar Mitzvah so I know what a fresh waffle tastes like". This after being served a waffle that had been on the cooling rack for all of 90 seconds. I summoned all of my inner courtesy and made a fresh batch but for the next two days I fantasized that she would come back and be rude again so I could refuse to sell her waffles. I fantasized specifically that she would stand in line for 45 minutes and then be rude and then I'd be all like "Ma'am I obviously don't need your business badly enough to allow you to speak to me that way. NO waffles for you!" and then she'd start throwing a fit and then I would take her picture on my iphone and print it out and stick it on the wall with a note in big angry letters that would say BANNED FOR ETERNITY.

3) I bought some kickass green cords, an awesome sweater, and a headband with a rediculous bobble on top all for 100 dollars at Anthropologie in NYC. You might not realize this but that makes me a shopping EXPERT.

4)All of my bosses gave their consent to be references and one even wrote me a very nice letter. This makes me feel better about the future.

You would think more would have happened but that's pretty much everything. I'm plotting my next blog move. I'm thinking it might involve VIDEO posts. So get ready for that.