Friday, January 6, 2012

The Least Endearing Memoir Ever Written: Chapter 1

A little smidgebit of something I've been working on.

Stage 1: The Blooming Adolescent in a New Millennium

When I was 12 years old brooding was among my top five favorite activities. When I wasn't playing soccer, skiing, riding horses, or having a generally awesome childhood experience you could usually find me in my room with the lights off thinking "I bet no one is thinking about me right now. Having a soul in this Universe is so lonely..." or something like that. I would picture myself crying in these moments but in reality I was almost always trying very hard to contain a joyful, lilting giggle. I was so tickled by my own depth that I couldn't complete even the most bleak and despairing thoughts with congratulating myself at least a little bit.

My cultural consciousness came to fruition in a swirling mass of self-pity, hormonal insanity and Manic-Panic Fuchsia Shock hair dye. It was the year 2000, we had all just survived Y2k, and I was pretty sure that my point of view on everyone and everything was completely and empirically correct. I was tortured and my suffering was unrivaled because only I could truly understand the absolute darkness of the world around me. It was hard work but somebody had to step up. I spent my seventh grade year carefully honing my scowl and figuring out exactly how hard I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep myself from smiling.

You can imagine, then, when in the fall of my eighth grade year how completely annoying it was when some terrorists decided to crash a couple of planes into a couple of buildings and kill a couple thousand people a mere few hundred miles away from where I was happily building my monopoly in existential angst.  I didn't know anyone on those planes or in the buildings and as I watched those affected break down and express their anguish I felt a part of my identity slipping away. Obviously being the moody sad girl wasn't going to fly for a while so I needed to figure out some other way to show everyone exactly how different and special I was.


More to come eventually

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