Tuesday, November 8, 2011

White People Problems!

I work in reservations for a ski resort. People get SO UPSET about tiny details of their trip..soooo upset. It's my job to make them feel better so I can take their money. Although I might seem like a unrelenting misanthrope, I am actually really good on the phone when it comes with dealing with enraged, irrational people. I am calm, I am pleasant, and I never let my sarcastic snarky side interlope on my demeanor.  My strategy is to always sound amenable but to NEVER apologize for things that aren't real problems unless they are actually my fault. I figure I can help set a standard for the customer service/hospitality industry, and that standard is one of competence, a pleasantness, and an ongoing relationship with reality. "Sir, I am SO sorry that we cannot guarantee a wood burning fireplace for your multi-thousand dollar vacation, would you be at all open to accepting a gas burning fire place instead?" is not the kind of thing you will ever hear me say. I'm not going to come right out and say that your first world problems don't matter to me, and I will do what I can to meet your needs, but if your needs are absurd I'm not going to apologize for not being able to meet them.

Here, just for the record, are things that I don't consider real problems within the context of a multi-thousand dollar ski vacation (or in any context, really):

-You can't bring your 4 piece matching set of Bernese Mountain Dogs with you.
- You may have to sleep in a Queen sized bed rather than a King
- Your toddler who is really too old not to be potty trained can't be in the ski school because we don't require our employees to wipe your kids ass.
- Your tiny sportscar might get stuck in the parking lot.
- You just beat cancer (OK so this is a real problem, but not one that requires me to book you a room when don't have any availability)
- We can't guarantee good weather for your vacation, nor will we refund the cost of your tickets if you found the conditions "a bit slick".
- You're really "more of a west coast person"

I'm sure I'll think of more of those as I gain more experience in my job. Also, I am aware that I am in fact a white person and one with a whole lot of not-so-real problems of my own, but if I started thinking that way I would be so paralyzed by the feeling that none of my complaints are justified that I would probably have to be institutionalized.

Oh and just so you know, the slope side pub being really crowded when you come in for lunch isn't a real problem, either, but I won't discount you for that one because I don't think I can stop myself from complaining about it either.

I wanted to find a funny picture to accompany this post but I searched way too long and came up with nothing so, NO PICTURE. sorry.

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